She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
