I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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