they need to just BURY HIM!
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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