So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Can I color on your dick again?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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