The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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