walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he told me I talked like a deaf person
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
