Just fell off a train. Bad.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Houston, we have a blender
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
