Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's not a walk of shame if you run
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
