the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
