She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
