It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
