I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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