My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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