he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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