woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
