At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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