Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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