Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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