i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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