he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
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The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
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He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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