I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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