Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize