Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
