I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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