I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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