if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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