for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
