She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
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Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
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i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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