I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!