Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
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That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
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Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"