Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
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If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
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Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place