well I can't set my house on fire every night
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
