Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
