talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
