He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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