I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
