Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
