i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
