I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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