Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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