the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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