You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
