Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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