i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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