Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
