all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
