I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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