my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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