Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
