do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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