I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
