Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize