are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.