Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
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He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.