The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize