I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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