Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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