listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
