he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
