how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
