How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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